


Under the Sky

by katiesparks



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, POV Third Person Limited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 06:33:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5238068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katiesparks/pseuds/katiesparks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They can’t decide which is the worse at this point. In Snowdin their sweater is too thin, in Hotland it’s too hot, and it Waterfall it’d be just right if they weren’t also wet.</p><p>They’d like to say it’s the most miserable they’ve ever been.</p><p>It’s not, but they’d like to say it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Under the Sky

It was hard to live this way.

_“Love, hope, compassion... This is what people say monster souls are made of. But the absolute nature of 'soul' is unknown. After all, humans have proven their souls don't need these things to exist.”_

One day they would read that, deep beneath a mountain, in a cozy village full of friendly people.

For now, they are living proof of the truth of it.

In the end, it didn’t matter why or how a child ends up alone on a mountain that has swallowed six children. It only matters that they do.

The hike is a long one, especially when they don’t know what they’re looking for. Playground stories are always so unspecific. Swing over the top of the swing set and you’ll enter an alternate dimension. Press the right order of buttons in the elevator at the court house and time will stop.

Climb Mount Ebott and you’ll disappear.

But where will you go? And what will take you there? Is it a portal? Or have you come out here to die?

Most children would go home at a thought like that. They rub thoughtfully at the bandage on high on their bicep, far under their shirt were no one will see or ask or know, and shift their backpack to rest easier on their shoulders.

It’s getting darker and they’re cold. They heard once that unless you can build a fire, caves will make you colder because the rock will soak up all your body heat. But the wind is strong and they are so tired.

At first they sit at the mouth of the cave. The sun hasn’t completely set yet and they didn’t think to bring a flashlight. They didn’t think it’d take so long for whatever was going to happen to happen. They pull their backpack into their lap and eat their last pack of peanut butter crackers.

The sun is almost set.

They shift and the rocks on the cave floor roll and they hear them fall down down down. They move their bag off of their lap and stand up to go see.

But it is very dark. 

As they fall, they wonder maybe if this was the portal after all?

-=-

So deep underground and at night—is it still night?—they think it ought to be darker.

But the halls and pathways are well lit and the goat woman is kind to them and not near as scary as the flower from before. They almost laugh at the thought. Scared of a flower but not a big goat monster? But the flower had been mean and tried to hurt them and the goat woman talked like a mom and made the flower go away.

It’s fine though. It’s fine. They wanted to disappear. This is a lot like they imagined. There’s magic and friendly creatures and puzzles.

But its dark, not cave-dark, night-dark, or underground-dark. Just, dark. And small. The echoes bother them, the way every little noise comes running back. They don’t like the way they can hear so many things breathing all at once.

It’s reminds them of too small, too tight, too dark, too warm from their own breath bouncing back to wash across their face.

And they want out. As nice as Toriel is, they can’t stay down here like this. They decide that suddenly when they’re inside her home, curled up in the bedroom that’s for a child but can’t be for them.

-=- 

The first time they try to leave, she kills them.

They can tell she didn’t _mean_ to, but they didn’t know what to do. She kept shouting for them to fight her, but they knew better than to fight back.

You don’t hit grown ups, even when they hurt you. They _knew_ that rule.

The look on her face had been awful, right before they passed out. They know she didn’t mean to. You had to forgive adults when they hurt you and didn’t mean to. They knew that rule too.

They woke up outside the house, Toriel calling for them to come in, they had pie and a warm bed.

It was like starting over.

-=-

Talking didn’t work but what else could they do?

The monsters out in the ruins told them when they were done fighting, but Toriel just kept on and on.

They figured they wouldn’t get in trouble for dodging this time.

Finally, frantically, they remember speaking to the friendly froggits, the ones that didn’t attack and just wanted to talk.

They just spare her over and over again and, eventually, that was the right answer somehow.

-=-

Even with the actual injuries gone, they still hurt.

They don’t know why, maybe their brain hasn’t caught up yet that they’re fine? They even took off their bandage and stuck it in their pocket. It was a little gross, but if they didn’t mind wearing a dirty hair ribbon, why would they mind putting a bandage that was only a little bit crusty back on?

And now they’re cold too. They don’t know how passing through a door could make the weather change so much but the ground is covered in snow and there’s _trees_ now. Underground trees. How do they grow with no sun?

The branch in the path is too big to take with them and their little one is fine anyways. They don’t know what they’re gonna do with it but it’s nice to hold it. Makes them feel safer.

Behind them there’s a snap. Like the branch. It was an awfully big branch. Did something step on it? Maybe that wasn’t what that noise was. It’s fine.

It’s fine until they see a shape in the corner of their eye. They want to run but they’re so cold. They see a bridge ahead but when they reach it, it looks old and dangerous and there’s some sort of bars across it?

They stand still debating whether to risk it or not too long.

“Human. Don't you know how to greet a new pal? Turn around and shake my hand.”

They’re _scared_. But he sounds like an adult. They have to obey adults. Even monster adults? Don’t know. Probably.

He’s short, like them! And a skeleton. Scary? Maybe. Maybe not. He’s got a doofy voice. Maybe not an adult. Doesn’t matter. Helps them cross the bridge.

-=-

They like Sans, even though he never really answers any questions. They want to trust him.

They hear him mumble “no dust” once and he offers them his jacket.

“Just for a little while, kid, you look blue.”

He seems nice and they like him, but they know better than this. They say no, even when he insists.

In the town, the cinnamon bunny warms them from the inside and, even though they only sleep for an hour or so, just being inside the inn makes them feel better. It’s warm and cozy under the blankets. If they had a stuffed animal to snuggle with it’d be perfect, but they don’t. The pillow is a good substitute. They aren’t a picky child.

The Library is warm too, even if the books make them a little upset sometimes. They like to read.

_“After all, humans have proven their souls don't need these things to exist.”_

And it’s not like it isn’t true.

-=-

Even rested, Papyrus is too much. They liked him and he hurt them. And then he put them in a safe warm space to wake up.

They wish they could say this was unfamiliar.

Hurt them, help them, hurt them again. It always happened like this. 

“Kid.” Sans is waiting when Papyrus lets them go, cause they’re friends now. “why don’t you run back and have that date now.”

They think the skeleton is laughing at them. They also think it’s hard to tell when he’s always a grinning skull.

-=-

The date is over before they sneeze, but Papyrus bundles them in what he calls the New Friend Healing Blanket (they watched him take it off of his bed, but they aren’t about to question it. He’s so _tall._ ) and has them sleep on the couch for the night. 

Spaghetti for breakfast is odd, but at least this batch is warm. There’s a lot of garlic in it, but they’ve eaten worse.

They don’t think they have a real cold, or maybe the blanket really was magic, and they set off that morning.

Papyrus meets someone in the dark and promises to help catch the human. They want to be surprised, hurt, betrayed. They aren’t, but they wish they were.

They lie when Papyrus calls and feel dumb when he calls again. Was helping them. Somehow it messed up, but he lied for them. That’s what friends do, right? Really tall, loud friends, who hurt them but didn’t really look like he meant to.

It seemed like it was all a game to Papyrus and really that suited them fine. They knew how to play games.

-=-

Undyne was scary and she stayed scary even though they helped the monster kid with no arms. They didn’t have to do that. Maybe they got things wrong somehow.

Maybe _they_ are just wrong somehow.

They wish they could say that was unfamiliar.

They fell again and woke up and it smelled. There was garbage.

There was also astronaut food. It was sealed up and it was supposed to survive space, right? Surely it was okay to eat?

They needed all the food they could carry. Food made them feel better, made their soul last longer in fights. And even if it seemed like dying wasn’t permanent down here, it still _hurt._

They really thought disappearing would mean not hurting anymore.

-=-

They liked the ghost. Napstablook.

Even when they were fighting he didn’t really ever _try_ to attack them and now he’d taken them home and fed them and let them listen to music. In this moment, it was almost as if he was their very best friend.

They were scared to leave but eventually they did have to go. It was a nice little part of Waterfall and they liked it, but they still did not like being underground. They forgot about it when they were busy with puzzles and fighting but whenever they stopped to rest, they remembered.

They hated feeling trapped.

-=-

Fighting Undyne was just as scary as being chased and she was another monster that was just so loud! Scary.

They swallowed back fear and did their best though. It was hard. They died…some number of times. It was hard to remember when they came back, but they knew they’d been here before. At least Undyne gave them the spear to block with. Fairness was a lot to ask from someone who was trying to hurt you, after all.

They finally win, if you can call escaping winning. Sans was asleep and didn’t help them. They don’t know why they expected him to.

Undyne, Papyrus liked her a lot, even though he lied to her. It’d be bad to leave a fish lady with no water, especially when it was easy to help.

And they aren’t bad. They _aren’t._

-=-

Papyrus wants them to be _friends_ with the fish lady. Who was loud and not well meaning and definitely did not take them home and put them somewhere safe when they killed them.

Papyrus didn’t even actually kill them, though that sounds better in their head than it would out loud, if they had anyone to say it to.

But Papyrus says to go, so they go.

They can’t decide which is the worse at this point. In Snowdin their sweater is too thin, in Hotland it’s too hot, and it Waterfall it’d be just right if they weren’t also wet.

Crossing back from Hotland into Waterfall makes their nose run. After a moment spent debating between licking the run off away and wiping at it with their dirtier-by-the-minute sleeve, they pull their arm into the sleeve and wipe it with the armpit of the sweater. TV told them that armpits are supposed to smell, but theirs don’t really and they haven’t quite figured out why.

They’d like to say it’s the most miserable they’ve ever been.

It’s not, but they’d like to say it.

-=-

It’s a weary sense of betrayal that washes over them when Papyrus jumps out the window. Left them.

But apparently Undyne is easy to manipulate. They didn’t really want a scary fish lady for a bestie, but no one really gave them a choice and the spear that broke the table scared them badly enough that they committed to doing what Undyne wanted them to.

There was a moment of indecision at the beginning of the cooking lesson. They know not to make messes. But Undyne clearly wanted them to do this all _passionately_.

Really, Papyrus’s cooking begins to make sense.

The house is in flames behind them and Undyne looks more defeated than she did stumbling into Hotland, cooking alive in her own armor.

They say they had fun and are besties. Even though they’d been bad and helped burn down the house. She doesn’t seem too angry over that, so maybe if they don’t mention it, it’ll be okay?

They don’t know if they really will call. The two of them were so loud, even on the phone.

-=-

They liked Dr. Alphys. Didn’t hurt them! Didn’t even try to!

Mettaton was a different story, but Dr. Alphys is their favorite yet. Better than loud Papyrus and Undyne. Better than kind but unhelpful Sans. Favorite.

Takes a long time to call, but does. Helps.

They’re so grateful until they wonder why.

There was. An explanation. But it really didn’t make that much sense, did it?

They know better than to completely accept this.

But for now, it’s okay. It’s fine.

-=-

They really knew better than to trust Sans too.

But he didn’t hurt them. That’s what they told themselves. He didn’t. He could’ve, might’ve, probably should’ve. But didn’t.

That’s what keeps them from crying, mostly. The other thing is that they don’t want to see his eyes go empty like that again. Look mad. Don’t like.

When they go to leave, he’s looks worried. They leave faster.

-=-

Tricked. Liked them. Was tricked.

New favorite, Mettaton. At least doesn’t trick them. Trying to kill them and means it.

The elevator ride is lonely. They cry against their knees.

-=-

The monsters aren’t battling you. Stopping you. Tell you a story.

Sad story.

The monsters don’t seem to realize they are a human? They won’t be free, they will be the seventh soul?

They wonder, who ever said the soul had to be a dead, outside the body soul? Who ever said that?

Childish. Selfish.

-=-

Sans is here.

They aren’t scared. Sans is….safe. They’ve been good, not bad, good.

Sans made a promise and he looks like a promise keeper. Safe.

They don’t like the acronyms and it’s good they don’t have any of that stuff. Sans might not be so safe if they’d hurt anyone.

But they know better than to hit back. They do.

“Kid, that wasn’t just a speech, you know.” He says as they approach the big door. They start. They thought he’d left, disappeared, like he does.

“You don’t have to do this. You can stay down here. Papyrus, for instance, would love for you to come live on the couch.” He continues.

Sounds nice. They want to. They like the skeletons and Papyrus didn’t even kill them. And they had powers down here. Probably wouldn’t work outside. Might actually die.

Might want to.

But can’t stay, can’t stop. Caves too small, too trapped. Don’t want to.

Wryly, they think if they have to be buried, they’d rather it not be alive.

“Can’t.” they say and stare down at their shoes.

“If you change your mind, come find me, kid.”

-=-

Asgore. King Fluffybuns.

Big. Tall. Looks nice. They know better. Dumb, dumb child.

This time, they do count.

He won’t let them spare him. He doesn’t want to be talked to anymore. After the third time, they think they’re just telling him how many times he’s killed them to see the look on his face.

He’s sorry. They know he is. Doesn’t matter.

Dying hurts.

Time number 6, they go back out to the bright hallway and sit in the floor and cry where no one will see them. They know it’s naughty to cry in front of adults, even when they’re hurting you.

Out here is too big to feel like their room, but it is empty and they are alone.

It’s fine, it’s fine.

They’ll keep telling themselves that until it’s true. Eventually, it always is.

Maybe this time Asgore will change his mind. Stop hurting them, say sorry and go for ice cream instead.

Tell them what they did wrong so they can not do it again.

They’re smart. Smart kid. If they just knew what to do….

They know better. Sometimes no one tells you. They’ll figure it out.

Time number 11 and even healed, they hurt so bad. Don’t know how to win. Scared.

Upset, swings back and hits on their turn.

Feels good, feels guilty. They’ve tried everything else. If this is wrong, they can go back. Haven’t they died enough?

In the end, he kneels down and they can spare him, now. He is too weak to attack and they don’t want to.

And he can’t make them.

He promises they’ll look after you. Promises. Like a family. They should know better, but it sounds nice. And the sun is shining through the holes in the roof here, not far away. They can see the other side of the barrier. If they could sit here, stay here, maybe…?

They’re still thinking about it when the flower kills him.

-=-

Hates the flower. Dies, hurts, hates, dies again.

So much.

Other human souls helping, but not confident. They never had been.

But determined. They were determined.

Had to get out, had to get _up_.

Their soul was reaching and those other souls reached with it, up and up and out and out. Together.

When it was all said and down, it was just them.

A flower and a child and a sea of blackness.

Don’t wanna spare him. Evil. Hurt them. Hate him.

They’ve been good for so long. Surely it wasn’t the right choice to end like this?

“You and Alphys could’ve been better friends.”

Don’t want to be better friends with a liar but…everyone lies. They guess it’s okay. It wasn’t that bad. They probably deserved it.

-=-

Alphys was probably just scared, like they are all the time. Didn’t wanna fight, so tricked them into thinking they were friends.

They can’t be mad about that.

Their date is funny. They don’t know what’s sillier, that these monsters will go on dates with them or that they think they’re old enough to?

They were just a little kid and they know better. Know dates are for grown ups. They come home late at night, after bedtime. Kids aren’t allowed to say out after bedtimes. Dating was for grown ups.

They like being Undyne. They’re silly. Alphys and Undyne kissing would be funny, cause one is big and one is not. Funny.

Undyne doesn’t look so scary without her armor on and her hair looks soft. She is upset about anime so they tell her what she wants to hear.

They’re good at saying what people want to hear.

-=-

Why did they have to go into the dark spooky lab? They didn’t want to. Why did Papyrus tell them to come here?

They understand they have to, though.

Scary, spooky. They think so all the way up until the sad dog.

Poor dog. Dogs.

The others too. Poor monsters. Sad, hurt, scared. Like them.

_Determination._

Is that why they don’t just stay dead already?

They don’t really want to be dead, though. They want to be disappeared.

Wanted. Not want. They want to see the sun again and be outside. They don’t want to die deep in the ground. They want to see their friends, even if they all hurt them.

It’s okay to hurt them and they forgave the monsters.

They spend longer petting the dog than is absolutely necessary.

At the end, it all makes sense. Like they thought. Not scary, not trying to hurt. Sad and scared.

A voice they haven’t heard before calls to them.

-=-

They don’t want to fight Asgore again. Wasn’t once enough? Hitting adults was scary. They hadn’t really meant to the first time.

Was hurt. Scared. Tired.

How can they have to do it again?

Gets ready anyways.

They’re dreading their turn, clutching the worn dagger in their hand so tightly their knuckles are turning white. ‘Please please please’ they chant silently, though it’s never worked before.

But they’re a first time for everything.

Toriel sounds angry but not at them and their friends come one after the other. Don’t fight, don’t have to fight.

Something is unclenching in their chest.

Someone came.

They should have known better.

They’ve been going through the motions all this time. Be good, a good child.

Live, not because they want to live but because they have to get out.

They want to be better. They want to be a real good child. 

They want their friends.

They want to SAVE.

-=-

Not betrayal. Not this time.

Faces covered, voices dull. Struggling towards them.

They are not fighting this battle alone.

-=-

Asriel. Small. Scared. Alone.

Like the amalgamates.

Like them.

So many times, betrayal. Some many times, alone.

No one came.

Someone did now. They all did.

What did they need? What did Asriel need?

-=-

Frisk goes in for a hug. 

-=- 

In the sunlight, they finally feel like they can breathe.

They hold Toriel’s hand.

Good. Right.

Did anyone miss them yet? Would they ever?

Didn’t matter.

“I want to stay with you.”

In the sun, under the sky. All of us.

Together.

**Author's Note:**

> Fear of being trapped would be a great reason to be desperate to leave the underground even though it's everything you ever wanted, wouldn't it? Comment appreciated!


End file.
